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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 10, 2007 21:16:49 GMT -5
Nicholas gently guided Lilianne to his office. He brought her over to one of the high backed comfy chairs by the lit fireplace and sat her done. Kneeling, he looked into her eyes.
"Lilianne, listen to me, okay? I'm going to go into the classroom for a few minutes and I'll be right with you and then I'll be right back to make sure your alright. Is that okay?" he asked, sounding like a paramedic treating a person for shock. He kept his hands gently on her shoulders.
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 10, 2007 21:25:09 GMT -5
Still gasping for breath, Lilianne nodded quickly. She watched her teacher leave and raised her knees up on the chair, hugging them and ducking her head on top of them.
Come on now, you've been through this before, breathe in, breathe out...
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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 10, 2007 21:53:21 GMT -5
Finally, he came back. With a few quick steps he walked over to his desk and poured something into a mug, bringing it over to Lilianne.
"Lilianne? Lilianne, here. I brought you something. Look at me for a second, dear. It'll be alright. Have something to drink." he said gently, almost as though she were his own daughter he were talking care of.
He carefully gave her the mug. It was full of hot chocolate. "Are you going to be alright, dear?"
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 11, 2007 13:27:07 GMT -5
In her time alone, Lilianne had managed to take control of her breathing back, and looked rather calmed down when Nicholas came back, though her face wore the tell-tale marks of someone who had been crying, even if she had wiped her face before he came back.
She still sounded agitated as she spoke quickly: "I'm okay, Professor, I calmed down, I'm sorry. I didn't think this was going to happen to me again, it has been a while since the last time... At least this time my magic didn't go out of control this time,...
I'm sorry, you caught me by surprise and it was the first time I was cursed, and I don't think I like that curse very much... I just felt so helpless, you know?
I should have expected you to curse me, I mean why else did you ask for a volunteer, and this is what we're learning and it's important for our safety and all, and I know we're safe and this is what you're here to do for years and this is all in control and I'm sorry I don't know why I still panicked!"
Lilianne tried to take a sip of the chocolate but her hands were shaking and she spilled a little of it on the carpet.
"Oh no! I'm sorry!" She took a deep breath and steadied herself, then took a few sips of the hot drink.
She sank back on her seat. "I'm such a clutz..."
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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 11, 2007 15:30:30 GMT -5
Nicholas looked to the spot on the floor and pointed his wand at it, muttering "Tergeo." beneath his breath, the stain disappearing. He looked to Lilianne, letting her rant and stood up afterwards and walked over to his desk. Opening a drawer, he pulled out a box of tissues and returned to the young girl, offering the box to her as he kneeled before her once more.
"Lilianne, that was a very brave thing you did, I hope you understand that. I'm sorry that it's given you such a fright. Had I known, I..." he began, sounding proud of her yet upset at himself. "I'm sorry to have given you such a fright, dear. Curses are never a pleasant experience."
Nicholas tapped the wicked scar that ran across his cheeks and nose that did little to mar his humble handsome features. "Would you mind it terribly if sat here?" he asked, pointing to the chair directly in front of hers.
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 11, 2007 18:32:01 GMT -5
Lilianne looked pretty embarassed as she took the box of tissues.
They always know when I've been crying, I wish I could find a way to hide it better...
She wiped her eyes as Nicholas went on, and stared at his scar as he pointed it out.
"Of course you can... Professor, I know you're trying to be nice but you must think I'm a complete coward if I can't handle a harmless spell like this. It's nothing compared to what you've faced, I've read up on you!
...Oh no. I've ruined your class, didn't I? I'm so sorry..."
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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 11, 2007 18:47:41 GMT -5
Nicholas gingerly took a seat opposite the young girl and leaned into speak with her. He offered her a small small after blushing somewhat. "You didn't ruin the class at all, Lilianne. Please don't think that. And I don't know how you could have read up on me. I mean sure, there were things in the Daily Prophet but I'm sure they were just blown out of proportion."
He scratched his head, somewhat abashed at her comment before he continued. "Lilianne, it's alright to have felt terrified when being affected by that spell. It makes you feel helpless. It makes you helpless. Believe you me, I know. But I want you to understand, that courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. This is a classroom. This is where you learn, not from success but from mistakes. Make as many mistakes here as possible, so that should the time come, there won't be any mistakes out there." he said gently, giving her a brave smile.
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 11, 2007 19:49:03 GMT -5
Lilianne sat silent for a while, finishing the mug of chocolate, musing over the professor's words.
"You might be right, professor, and I wasn't really expecting to be as good as my sister, right away... But so far my scorecard's been pretty bad, hasn't it? Not just in your class, either. It just looks like magic and me always add up to disaster. The more I try the more I start being afraid that..."
Lilianne stopped herself. She might have said too much already. The professor had been so nice to her, but what would he think of her if she ended up...
But he's so noble, he was knighted!
But those blood status fanatics consider themselves noble, too...
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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 11, 2007 20:02:41 GMT -5
"Lilianne, there's no need to compare yourself to your sister constantly. We can only be who we are. Just remember this, we're all something, but none of us are everything. If you take the world on your shoulders, it'll crush you flat. I wouldn't know about your other classes, but you're doing rather well in this one. You've been improving, believe it or not. And if you're worried, the professors and prefects are always here to help." he said comfortingly.
He looked at her for a few more seconds before speaking again. "There's no need to tell me everything if you're uncomfortable. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. As your head of house, professor and hopefully, friend, alright? Now, can I interest you in another cup of hot chocolate?"
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 11, 2007 20:35:39 GMT -5
Lilianne looked as though she was still trying to argue her own worthlessness but was running out of arguments against the Professor's.
"I, uh... Yes, I would like another cup very much, if you don't mind..." she said, handing him back her empty cup.
"Oh, Sir Lannsman, you were wondering about where I read up on you... Well erm, when I watched your duel I heard the older students talking about you and how you got knighted, and I know how word of mouth gets so I wrote my father that night, and he looked up in the archives and sent me a copy of an article from the Daily Prophet about your knighting and your work as an auror. He's uh, he's a librarian. So it was easy to find out. "
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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 11, 2007 21:07:42 GMT -5
Nicholas walked over to his desk and brought the small chipped kettle over to pour some hot chocolate for her and for himself as well. He placed the kettle on a small side table and looked over to Lilianne, listening to her explanation.
"Ah, the duel. I'm sorry you had to witness that. It didn't turn out nearly as well as I'd hoped. Well, I can breathe clearly again, so that's always a good thing." he added cheerfully at the end. "I suppose there were a few articles...Like I said, mostly exaggerated."
For someone as large as he, he could be a bit of a goofball, the way he sipped his cocoa and seemed as shy and embarrassed as a 12 year old.
"I just did my duty as any Auror should. I don't know why I ever got knighted. it's a rare honor, and I just don't see why I'm the one who deserves it, but I'll do my best to bear the title." he said humbly, nursing his hot chocolate. "Feeling better?"
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 11, 2007 21:27:13 GMT -5
"You nearly died to save a muggle. I don't think it's as meaningless as some wizards would think... Maybe it's even more significant, actually..." Lilianne said thoughfully.
Yeah, I'm feeling better, Professor. I think the chocolate is helping, too. Hum... She looked down into her cup, looking worried. "Has, uh, has anyone said anything about what happenned, back in class?"
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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 11, 2007 22:00:37 GMT -5
"I almost died saving another person, Lilianne. Therein lies the difference between myself and most wizards, but I'm glad the chocloate is doing some of its own magic. It always helps me on rough days." he said smiling.
He leaned back into the chair and looked into the fire for a second, grabbing the poker and nudging some of the logs. "Well, there were a few people who seemed more concerned than anything. I don't think it was something to elicit laughter or ridicule, so there's no need to be worried."
Nicholas looked back to her. "I know it's hard, but learn to accept your mistakes in my classroom, and you will learn to accept yourself. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing. "
He looked to a picture on the wall of a younger Nicholas with an older man standing by him with a proud grin. "Wise man once told me so."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 12, 2007 8:59:38 GMT -5
As Nicholas poked the fire, Lilianne stared at him. Maybe she could trust her head of house to still respect her, in case she turned out like her father. There was at least that, but she still wasn't trusting the majority of the wizarding world to be so accepting.
Squibs are just too easy to pick on, they can't defend themselves against curses after all... But at least I had your mother to count on.
Accepting your mistakes, learning from them. It all made sense in theory, but the hardest thing to overcome was the possibility that she would never get better, that she just couldn't do it. So far the only classes where she'd been able to trust in her abilities were the ones where you didn't have to use a wand.
She looked at the picture. "Is that your dad? Was he an auror too?"
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Post by Nicholas Gawain Lannsman on Dec 12, 2007 11:44:24 GMT -5
A wistful smile played across Nicholas' lips as he got up and walked over to the picture. "Yes, that was my father. Cedric Lannsman was in charge of his own Strike and Retrieval squad with the Ministry's Auror department. One hundred and forty six successful dark wizards detained, only five have ever been killed in the crossfire, full honors and on his way to a position of Chief of the Task Forces. Only two men ever died in his squad over the course of fifteen years." he said as he fixed the frame so it wasn't slightly tilted. With a sigh, he walked back to the chair.
"Three, including him."
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