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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 19, 2007 9:14:39 GMT -5
Lilianne giggled. "Yes, and my mother might not want to give you her autograph so much if you give me too much chocolate before supper..."
She grabbed the sides of her robes and gave him a ladylike bow. "I bid thee farewell then, Sir Knight."
Lilianne then ran out of his office, heading first to Professor Barnaby's office before heading to the great hall.
She would have a long letter to write her parents that night. Maybe she would ask her father to dig up more stories about Professor Lannsman, and his father too. She didn't want to bother him too much asking questions about his auror job as she realized that's what everyone expected of him, but she was still curious...
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 17, 2007 20:35:09 GMT -5
The confirmation that she wasn't a 'special case' made Lilianne feel a lot better.
"I'll hang out to that, sir. Thank you. You've been really patient with me."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 17, 2007 19:52:42 GMT -5
"Two minutes? Hum. I guess I was so busy concentrating on not thinking about what was going on that I didn't realize so much time had passed. Must be quite different when you know you're in danger, though..."
She took the letter and stared at it for a moment. "I suppose I should go see the professor before dinner, so that he may tell me what I missed so I can read the book and catch up a bit..."
She pocketed the letter and looked back at the Professor again. "Hum... Professor? Do you think I'm ready to face the next class? I don't if you've had uh, cases like me before... Is there anything I can do to prepare myself? I have to admit I'm probably more nervous when there's more people around me..."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 17, 2007 19:05:57 GMT -5
"Well, hum, it felt constricting a lot, beind unable to move, but I could still breathe, you know? And I was expecting it, and I knew I was safe. It wasn't a bad guy that was cursing me..."
Lilianne frowned, looking a bit worried. "How long can that curse last, if you have no friend near to release you?"
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 17, 2007 18:41:27 GMT -5
Lilianne gasped when she was released. She looked over at her professor, rubbing her arms as if she was trying to chase bugs off of them. She looked a little off balance, but her breathing was fine. Definately an improvement over the earlier accident.
"I'm okay, I think, Professor. I mean of course I didn't enjoy it, but I managed to keep my mind off of it and didn't panic, Sir!"
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 17, 2007 18:23:40 GMT -5
Lilianne felt fear starting to creep up her entire body as it went rigid, but she concentrated on her recounting of the novel, focusing on it instead of her helplessness.
It wasn't so bad as the first time, even if it was still unpleasant.
It isn't so terrifying not being able to move, if you're not trying to...
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 16, 2007 20:36:38 GMT -5
Lilianne stood up and walked to the center of the room. She looked around looking for something to concentrate on, and her gaze stopped at the bookshelf. She walked a little closer to it, and her eyes flew over the spines.
She spotted one of her favorite books sitting on the top shelf. Thinking of the main character, a young witch that went on a great adventure on a pirate ship in the 18th century, she took a few deep breaths.
"I'm ready, Professor."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 16, 2007 20:01:52 GMT -5
Lilianne took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds, then returned the Professor's stare.
"Yes, Sir. I want to do this because I want to learn how to defend myself. I want to make my dad proud. I want to make you proud. I'll be good, I'll listen!"
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 16, 2007 19:39:05 GMT -5
Lilianne froze in place when Nicholas raised his voice.
"Oh. Right... sorry."
She picked up the photograph of her family that had fallen to the floor and put it back in her robe, put the mug on the side table, then she plopped back into her seat, looking pensive again.
"Hum, Professor? I really don't want to be too much of a bother to you, and I don't want to fall behind too much in class either... As much as I've enjoyed sitting here and drinking hot chocolate and talking with you, I don't want what happenned in class to happen again... "
She looked positively terrified at the idea she was about to suggest, but she still forced herself to say it.
"...Could you curse me again? So I can get used to the feel of it? I think I'll be more able to handle it here with you than in class with other students..."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 16, 2007 18:44:56 GMT -5
"Yes sir. You've been really kind to me, I'm just sad I missed the end of our... Oh no. Oh nonono!"
Lilianne jumped up from her seat in panic, nearly dropping her empty mug but catching it back after fumbling around with it for a bit like a juggler.
"I'm late for History of Magic!" She checked her watch. I missed History of Magic! Oh no oh no what do I do? She repeated to herself, forgetting who she was with, hopping around in place almost comically. She looked like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 16, 2007 18:18:10 GMT -5
"Oh no, don't! Then you'll take housepoints from me!" Lilianne exclaimed, jokingly. Mostly.
She handed the box back to Nicholas. "I'm done crying now. I think."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 16, 2007 10:28:04 GMT -5
Lilianne did let out a little laugh. "Jury's still out, Sir..."
Unfortunately it looked being made self-aware of her crying only made her tear up more. It was always like that. First she cries because something upsets her, then she cries because she's embarassed by her own crying. A very silly, and wet, loop.
"I'm such a crybaby. I don't know why I tear up so easily, and when it starts I can't stop it..."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 15, 2007 16:27:17 GMT -5
Lilianne took a tissue to wipe her tears, but she looked less ashamed of them as previously. She was starting to feel that with this man, as with her own family, she didn't have to be afraid to show her true feelings.
"Maybe you're right, Professor, but I still think it's horrible that I'm hoping I don't end up like one of the people I love the most in my life..."
She sniffed a bit and wiped a tear that had fallen on the picture lying on her lap.
"I'm sorry Sir, I don't know why I'm bothering you with this. It's the first time I talk to someone about the way I feel. Well, someone human. I'm afraid I'll hurt my dad's feelings if I talk to him about it..."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 15, 2007 15:21:52 GMT -5
Lilianne looked down again. "No, sir... You don't understand. I know there's nothing wrong with being a Squib. That you can lead good lives even without being able to do magic. That it doesn't make you less of a person. I've got one to look up to after all. My dad is a Squib, and I don't love him any less because of that. In fact, I probably owe my life to it, since he wouldn't have met my mom if it wasn't for it."
She looked at the picture again, and her father smiled at her lovingly. "But he hasn't lied to me about how it has been for him either. He's been often cast aside and bullied as a kid. He's had a falling out with his own family, and I barely know them because of it. Even wizards who mean well will often make him feel as if he had a disability. Not to mention how frustrating it is to live in the wizarding word and having to see, everyday, what he's missing. Muggles are luckier."
Professor, I love my dad, with all my heart. But I'm afraid I'll turn out like him...
She finally looked back up at Nicholas, her eyes watering up again, and her voice broke off as she said: "...and I think that makes me a horrible person."
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Post by Lilianne Wesker on Dec 15, 2007 14:06:35 GMT -5
Lilianne took the last sip of her chocolate and stared down at the ring in the bottom of it for a while. She looked as if she was struggling with herself.
Finally she raised her and stared hard at her head of house, saying hesitantly: "Professor... What if... What if I turn out to be a squib?"
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